Sympathy, it is sympathy that has been my Kaiser over this contemptible existence of the prior decade, encompassing even this moment which I have lived; each laboured breath of heaven that I consume is heinous, for I am deserving of the naraka of the Buddhists, an agonizing hellish place to which I will be eternally damned when all is revealed to God on that day of judgement. For “the wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God”… (1) Have we truly forgotten the Lord amidst our onerous journey that has delivered us not to the pearly gates of heaven, as we supposed it would, but into the jaws of the dragon itself?
Our quest for salvation – But were we not told this was pre-ordained by the Lord! What of our souls, the only aspect of our lives truly in our keeping? It is treachery that has brought forth the fires of hell only to deliver them not to the doorstep of our enemies but into our own insulted faces as we realize the magnitude of how wronged we have been and how eternally damned we now are. Is there but one who can hold us responsible when we have been told we were on the road to salvation, that it was God’s will? It should be a sin to breath, a sin to live for that man who calls himself Fuhrer, a man who has sentenced to a forever death the souls of a million soldiers.
I find myself but one of those who has believed a dozen lies, and only now do I realize this as I lay among those who I have killed, those who stare out of the deadness of their eyes in silent accusation; all of them, even those innocents with baby hair and tender features, they too are my accusers. And it is in the whites of their eyes that I most fear God, in the purity of once was that I comprehend my great folly and my mind begins to penetrate the extent of this great sin.
1. Psalm 9:17
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